


defintion of brothers

by nakayuz



Category: One Piece
Genre: ASL Brothers, Brothers, Comfort, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hugs, Sad Sabo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:35:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21866830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nakayuz/pseuds/nakayuz
Summary: “i blame me. and you blame yourself, too, but... i’m the older brother... shouldn’t i have been there? shouldn’t i be the one to blame?” sabo finally looks up, his voice loud and near hysterical. “you shouldn’t be the one to bear that burden! and yet, you... were happy to see me...” there’s a pause. “...why don’t you hate me, luffy? why aren’t you angry at your older brother?”
Relationships: Monkey D. Luffy & Sabo
Kudos: 117





	defintion of brothers

sabo doesn’t want to let go of his brother. his arms are wrapped tightly around luffy’s torso, a hand running through his hair. it’s been a while since he’s really hugged his brother. there’s a sharp pain in his chest that only makes him pull closer, hoping that the rubbery arms around his own body will do the same.

it still doesn’t feel real. he still remembers the last time he had saw ace. the last look. he remembers their last hug, only quick with a single arm around each other’s shoulders. to think that his only time with him before that marine took his life was years ago on that wicked island with those wicked people, when they were both so young and so reckless, when neither had no idea what was to become of both of them... it stirs in him something that can’t be described.

so maybe that’s why he won’t let go. maybe that’s why he had decided to pursue the _mera mera no mi_ , even if it had a chance of blowing his cover. maybe that’s why he keeps the wanted poster of his brother’s face and name folded neatly in his back pocket, slightly charred and ripped from its years.

maybe there is no reason at all, maybe he can’t cope with the emotions that arise when ace comes to mind. he blames himself for the pain of both, which he can feel so heavily in his heart. the suffering luffy went through and still goes through, the chance that he could have left his life at the battlefield, the realization that he was the only one left, that he had no one. ace’s final moments were written about in detail, the unneeded information of his final whisperings to his brother and his lashing out at that marine was flown to every inch of the world. there was so, so much pain in every letter, and it was heavy on his shoulders and heart. it was something he had never felt before.

and what was he doing while all of this was happening? what was he doing when ace was captured? what was he doing when the war raged on?

nothing.

sabo chokes out a sob, his eyes burning with the threat of tears. _there’s no point in crying,_ he thinks.

he wonders how much luffy has changed from the war. what type of person was he before he arrived? was he hopeful, full of life? still reckless and loud as ever? was the light in his eyes still present from childhood?

just who was this person he was hugging right now?

sabo doesn’t feel as though he has a right to call them his brothers. fire fist ace and straw hat luffy... he barely spent two years with them before his memories were stripped away from him. the only information he has was from unreliable newspapers. brothers, he believes, are meant to protect each other. they had done that for each other multiple times. so, why... hadn’t he been able to do it this time?

“sabo, are you crying?” luffy’s voice is soft and muffled, he barely heard it. it makes sabo notice the steady stream of tears running down his face and the sobbing that sounds like hiccups.

“i don’t mean to.” sabo replies, and they finally pull away from their hug. he cups his little brother’s face, looking into his eyes, searching for that light. “i’m... sorry.”

“it isn’t sabo’s fault- “

“i wasn’t there. if i was, you wouldn’t be so hurt, and ace would still be alive.” his hands drop to luffy’s shoulders. “i’m happy you’re alive, but to think you two had to go through so much... god,” he shakes his head, “what kind of brother am i?”

luffy’s quiet, watching his brother cry, gripping onto his shoulders.

“i would have done anything to get my memories back. i would have done anything to get to you both. i would trade my life for ace’s, i would give my life for yours. so why... do i feel this way?” sabo doesn’t tear his gaze from the ground, not even when he feels a hand rest on his wrist. “i feel like... i shouldn’t even be considered your brother. ace’s, either. i wish i could have done more.”

“sabo...” luffy says.

“i blame me. and you blame yourself, too, but... i’m the older brother... shouldn’t i have been there? shouldn’t i be the one to blame?” sabo finally looks up, his voice loud and near hysterical. “you shouldn’t be the one to bear that burden! and yet, you... were happy to see me...” there’s a pause. “...why don’t you hate me, luffy? why aren’t you angry at your older brother?”

luffy doesn’t respond, but stares. sabo can’t read his expression, and his knees give way, his hands letting go of his shoulders as he falls. he desperately tries to wipe the tears from his face. i can’t stop crying, he thinks, and the humiliation sets in, and he doesn’t want to think of looking at his brother’s expressionless face again.

“sabo, do you remember?” luffy’s voice makes his breath hitch. it’s awfully gentle, quieter than he’s ever heard it before. “the cup of sake we shared.”

it takes a moment for sabo’s voice to return. “of course,”

“it meant we became brothers. even though we all had different lives.” he can hear luffy kneel down in front of him. “the only family i really had was grandpa. and, to be honest, i’m still not sure what it means to be brothers.” another moment of silence falls between them. “but, i know that it’s being something more than _nakama_. ace said it himself: no matter where we are in the world, we’re brothers.”

sabo’s tears have slowed, the sobs escaping his throat become quieter. his racing mind slows as he listens.

“we were brothers even if you had lost your memory.” luffy starts again. “even when we were at marineford. even if ace... isn’t here anymore.” it was clear it was hard for him to say such a thing, and he can hear him swallow. “i don’t think being brothers means to sacrifice ourselves for each other. even if that’s what ace did. that’s what you think it means too, right?”

sabo reluctantly nods.

“ace’s death wasn’t either of our faults.” luffy’s voice has died to a whisper. “as much as i think it’s because of me, as much as i think i was too weak to do something about it, somehow, i know it’s not true... ace had said, if it weren’t for us, he wouldn’t have had a will to live.

“i don’t think being brothers means to die for each other. i think it might mean to give each other life.”

sabo finally looks up, back into those empty eyes of his brother- except, he saw something other than empty. it was dim, hardly noticeable, and fully readable. teary eyed, luffy smiles.

“we lived because of you. and even without your memories, you must’ve lived for us, too. even if you weren’t at marineford, you were still our brother. so, don’t be sorry, sabo. how could i be mad if sabo wasn’t there?”

“luffy, i...”

“you’ve done enough just by being our brother, sabo. you’ve been giving us life even when we thought you died. so, don’t be sad. don’t blame yourself.” luffy opens his arms again, his smile widening, “we love you, sabo!”

an intense heat rises in his chest, his heart feeling as though it would burst. sabo didn’t hesitate, throwing himself into luffy’s arm’s, smiling and crying, and maybe even laughing a little. to hear such a sentiment from a brother almost made him not want to believe his ears, but this hug felt different, and he knew that this time it was real. warm and loving, even through those rubber arms of his.

luffy had changed. he became better with his words, clearly. even though they had both grown up, he was right; they were brothers. and the shared pain between the brothers comforted him now. luffy understood a lot more than he thought he would’ve.

the definition of “brothers” became a little bit clearer. it wasn’t just to give each other life, and he knew that.

“i love you guys,” sabo says, his voice cracking, “i really love you and ace.” he can feel luffy’s hands ruffle his hair.

“don’t be mean to yourself, then!” luffy says.

sabo looks up and smiles at his pouting face. “you’re right. i’ll do better.”

**Author's Note:**

> they're a bit ooc, i'm sure. but i have been very emo over asl!!
> 
> thank you for reading! ^^ forgive me for their possible ooc-ness.


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